Post 30 – The Life Beyond the Miracle

Let that title sink in for a moment: The Life Beyond the Miracle.

If you have even 24 hours clean, you are a miracle.

The most natural thing for an addict to do is use. So when we find the courage to go against what once felt normal and choose to live life on life's terms by doing the next right thing, that is a miracle.

Notice how I said we.

That's because none of us gets clean alone. We need each other. We need people who understand our struggles, our fears, and our victories. That is exactly why this website is called Addiction Never Alone.

A lot of people think that once they get clean, they've made it! No more mind-altering substances. No more chasing the next high.

But what many of us don't realize is that getting clean is where the real work begins.

When I say work, I mean learning how to live, love, show up, and grow every single day.

Before recovery, we used any excuse to get loaded. We used to when things were bad. We used to when things were good. We used to celebrate, to grieve, to escape, and sometimes for no reason at all.

Today, we face those same moments differently. We stay clean through the good times, the bad times, and everything in between.

When the obsession with using finally lifts, it feels like a weight has been lifted from your chest.

Imagine waking up in the morning and not having your first thought be, "How am I going to get loaded today?"

I replaced my old morning routine with the Just for Today meditation that I learned through my 12-step program. Instead of chasing a high, I started seeking peace.

One of the sayings we hear early in recovery is, "The only thing you have to change is people, places, and things."

What that really means is that we gradually change who we spend our time with, the places connected to our addiction, and the routines that kept us trapped.

But what I believe many of us struggle with most after we get clean is trust.

Trusting people not to hurt us.

Trusting people not to leave us.

Trusting our families to love us.

Trusting ourselves not to sabotage our own lives.

Trusting ourselves not to run when things get hard.

And trust goes hand in hand with honesty.

Being honest with people in the program.

Being honest with our families.

Being honest in our relationships.

But most importantly, being honest with ourselves.

Once I learned that I could trust people and tell the truth, I made a choice.

I chose not to lie.

I have remained honest with the people in my life because my program requires it. More importantly, my recovery requires it.

Our secrets keep us sick.

Think about it.

Remember hiding your addiction?

Remember denying it?

Remember the things you did to get loaded that you swore you would take to the grave because you were so ashamed?

For me, recovery meant finally remembering.

Sometimes our minds protect us by burying painful memories. The shame, trauma, and regret can be so overwhelming that our brains allow us to forget pieces of our story just to survive.

The day I shared those things with another addict was the day I truly began to heal.

It was the moment I began to grow into the woman I was becoming.

The beautiful thing about recovery is that we finally get to love the way we were always meant to love.

We get to show up for the people in our lives.

We get to be present.

We get to grow into the amazing human beings we were always meant to be.

Now, let me be honest with you.

Most of us want recovery to happen overnight.

We want instant gratification.

We want our relationships fixed immediately.

We want trust restored immediately.

We want our lives back immediately.

Unfortunately, that's not how this works. 😂

We didn't destroy our lives overnight.

Addiction happened one choice at a time.

Recovery happens one choice at a time, too.

Be patient with yourself.

Be patient with your friends and family who had to grieve you while you were still alive.

That is one of the hardest truths to face.

Our addiction caused pain.

It caused fear.

It caused heartbreak.

Sometimes it is difficult for our loved ones to accept the new version of us because they are still carrying wounds from the old one.

Sometimes we have people in our lives who are not kind to us in recovery because they haven't had the opportunity to heal the way we have.

And that is okay.

Recovery does not give us the right to tell others how to heal.

It is not our job to correct them.

It is our job to love them exactly where they are.

The same grace that was given to us should be extended to them.

I know that God, my Higher Power, carried me through the darkest moments of my life and brought me to where I am today.

So when someone is struggling, hurting, or unable to accept who I am today, I pray for them and trust that God is working on them just like He worked on me.

Before I leave you with this thought, I want you to ask yourself a question:

Have you ever stopped to think about how hard your addiction was on the people who loved you?

Since getting clean, have you watched someone you love struggle with addiction?

Have you ever had someone who still couldn't accept who you are today, no matter how much you've changed?

If so, I would love to hear your story.

Reach out in the comments.

Let's talk about it.

Because recovery was never meant to be done alone.

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